Sunday, 30 December 2012

The end of another year.

2012 is over, finished, done. Time to ring in a new year! 
2012 isn't a year I have enjoyed for the most part. I felt I should do a summary of 2012 and it's highs and lows! 
I rung the new year with some of my closest friends at a black tie event. 
Spent the whole month worrying about a close friend of mine, who also has chiari.

The friend I was worrying about during the month of January passed away on the the February. Most of February was spent getting my head around the fact she wasn't around any more. February was tough. Also this month I went a saw a new team of doctors at another hospital.

Always a tough month for me due to a family members death in 2009. That topped with still struggling to get my head around Heather's death made it another hard month (the year gets better, promise) This is also the month I decided to start thinking about going back to work. I also traveled to Wales to meet 2 wonderful chiarians, Kelly and Leanne and had a wonderful time. 

Arrive in hospital on 1st April. A new hospital. Had various MRI scans, lumbar punctures ect. Spent just under a week here. Went back home and then had a week to get ready to start back at work on 16th April. I spent 3 weeks just observing lessons and getting used to being back in a busy environment. I hurt and cried many times from being so sore and tired from work.
On 25th April my brother's other half gave birth to my first niece. A beautiful girl called Grace Lexie Louise Gibbons

I went back into the classroom in May, doing up to 6 lessons a day. Just me, a classroom of 35 children and a lesson plan. GULP. Found this hard, really hard. I soon discovered my most used weapon in my day to day life, my voice, was not the same as before. I was scared to shout incase it hurt. Now this makes me sound like I have zero control over the room, but I mean just literally making my voice loud enough to carry over the low level noise of 35 kids scared me. I had plenty of really bad lessons, plenty of times calling in a senior member of staff to deal with some children. Had to deal with a rumour going round the school, started by the kids who knew me from before, saying I had a mental break and was in a home for 2 years. Found the whole month challenging. 

My birthday. Great time with friends!
Chiari walk 2012, another great one. Was really chuffed because I managed to walk to whole way and wasn't in a wheelchair. 
This was also the month I made a decision, a major decision and handed my notice in at work. I had no job to go onto but had to get out. I loved the school, the kids and the staff. I just couldn't handle it all.

Had an interview to work in a special needs school and got the job. My work mates at the school I was leaving told me I was crazy and that it would be harder than a mainstream school. I took a leap of faith and left. 
A few days after my interview, on 10th July I was at work and managed to have a very large sack trolly fall on my foot and break it. Spent a few months in a cast and an airboot. 
July 20th I finished at my school, ready to start my new one.
July 25th I went in and had a ICP bolt inserted. Another 3 days in hotel NHS. 
The BEST new from this month was my best friend getting engaged. I was asked to be a bridesmaid, exciting!!

Off work, waiting to start my new job. Still in a cast. Spent the summer watching the olympics and trying (and failing) to get a tan on my one exposed leg.

Started at my new school. A class of 11 wonderful children. I had fallen back in love with my job and felt lucky every single day and was (almost) jumping out of bed every morning.

Getting harder. Getting into bed everyday at 4pm and lying down till the next morning. Saw my neurosurgeon and he told me the reason I felt like crud and wanted to lye flat was because I had low pressure due to a CSF leak. Got told to drink loads and loads of fluids and a few other things. Hoped they would work and arranged to go back in January.

Started resenting my job. Hating getting out of bed and not enjoying myself. I was feeling like crap from about 10am everyday and was just miserable. New headache cure tactics did nothing but make me not be able to sleep. 

Another month of pain and a whole new class at work to get to know. Felt like it was June again in terms of work. Had great days as well, enjoying christmas celebrations are so wonderful when the children still believe. Enjoyed christmas at home as well.

And that brings us to now. 12.32am on 31t December 2012. Eager for what next year will bring. Knowing it will involve meeting one of my biggest supporters in my chiari fight from America. 
Hoping it doesn't involve too much pain but knowing it probably will.
Hoping we do not loose another chiari fighter but knowing it probably will.
Hoping I will make a decision about work but knowing I probably won't.
Hoping things are wonderful and peaceful but knowing that is unlikely to happen.
Hoping my family and friends stay just as they are, lovely and wonderful and that is one thing I know will not change. 

I love everyone of you who read this, who follows me. All 20,000 of you who read this page, I love you, you are wonderful and best of all, you are you!